Giving Up Clutter for Lent, Part Four: Clutter Wins. Or Does It?
A few days ago, I had about 90 minutes, maybe 2 solid hours if I was lucky, to do as I pleased. My youngest son, who requires the most hands-on care, was blissfully asleep. My 6-year-old was out of the house and my eldest was reading, which he can do for an entire afternoon when given the opportunity. So what would I do with this unusual bounty of time? My mind was spinning with how I could use it, what task I should attack, whether I could get most of it done in two hours. Before this point, I had been cleaning the kitchen from the morning aftermath, then doing non-stop loads of laundry, then feeding my kids lunch, then cleaning up that aftermath (am I the only mom for whom mealtimes result in “aftermaths”?).
Two hours. More clutter around me than could be handled in that time. But surely, I could make progress somewhere. The pantry, the laundry room, the refrigerator, the still-disastrous office. All were clamoring for my attention–I had no lack of options.
But then my oldest son came bounding down the stairs, wondering what I was doing, why I was so quiet. He is used to commotion around him when I’m in the house; for the past few minutes, I had been thinking of what to do and the stillness had surprised him. “Mom, what are you doing? Do you want to do something together?”
He is turning 10 in just a few months, undeniable evidence that I have been a parent for nearly a decade and I still can’t believe it. I took in his near-tweenage 80-lb. body, growing by the minute, his face which still held enough sweet innocence to keep the thought of impending puberty at bay.
I smiled at him as I made my split-second decision. “Let’s play something together. I challenge you to a duel. These moments don’t happen often, you-and-me time.”
His grin was wide and instant. I made no progress with the clutter that day, during those precious two hours. Instead, I played games with my son and even did some pleasure reading. It was not yet officially the Sabbath, but in the end, what I realized I needed was rest, a break from trying to impose order on a house that constantly moves towards disorder. And I needed a chance to have fun reconnecting with my son; despite constantly being around one another we don’t always manage to do so.
We can’t always choose to capitulate to the messes in our lives, but when you have a chance to challenge your 4th grade son to a game of Wii swordplay instead of beating down the clutter, then take it. Even if you lose, you win.
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@tweetraychang The cost is not only greater for POC to enter into those spaces, it's high to stay. The ones who do manage to do so typically are not those who rock the boat. Gives the appearance of representation without the true value of diversity. IMHO!
@tweetraychang Yep. And also: 1) To not demonstrate fragility when that diverse voice has a material impact on the culture of the organization and 2) To proactively show that the POC is valued even if his/her presence at times rattles and/or challenges the existing systems and structures.
@irenemcho Me: “What did you do this weekend?” Friend: “I was hanging out at Jim’s house all day on Sat.” Me: “Who’s Jim?” Friend, incredulous: “Umm, our writing professor!!!” Me: 😳😳😳😳